|Intuitive Tarot & Numerology Readings in Seattle, WA|
2016. A year that is surely marked by all of us as one of loss and growth. It was a 9 year, so transformation was expected; but did it have to be so painful? When I reflect on the lessons this year has given me, I'm grateful for the beauty. Sure, it hurt... physically, mentally, psychically... but it's been so RICH, so MEATY and so BREATHTAKING! I cried all year, and was reborn in tears.
But I'll start at the beginning:
I embarked on this year with the intent to find a teacher, to finally get my ass on my path instead of flitting around it, walking when it suited, or when I had time. It was finally time for me to stop taking my gifts for granted. This intent brought me to Ylva, and to the Cunning Crow, and to a beautiful community of seekers.
In our first class, when we talked about magic, our teacher said “Magic is remembering”. And I remembered that I had been working towards this my whole life, and that my pace didn't matter- my time was now, and there was no better time than the present.
When David Bowie died, I remembered he was a wizard, and that he said:
“It’s terribly dangerous for an artist to fulfill other peoples’ expectations. They produce their worst work when they do that. If you feel safe in the area that you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth, and when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.”
And I'm excited to be on my path, and although my feet are not quite touching the bottom, I'm more comfortable now in my community, in my skin. And why is that? Consistency and proximity certainly breed comfort, so that's part of it. The other part of it has to do with being in a (large) community with people like me. Through teachings, learnings, exercises, and connection with gifteds, witches, and empaths, I learned not to compare myself. I learned I didn't have to protect my knowledge. I learned to claim that which was forgotten. I remembered that MY expectations were the ones that mattered, and that my relationship with myself was what was at stake. Why is it so hard to be present for yourself? What this teaching made me remember was that I choose to no longer turn away from myself.
My primary access to my clairs has always been through Tarot. I read and stayed consistent with it through my teens, twenties, thirties, (ok, forties...) At some point I realized that Tarot was the thing I did- what I never put down, the thing I would do for the rest of my life. My deck is my familiar, my helper and companion. It's my key to The Veil, my Chariot home from The Void. It's my wife that I take for granted, and my mistress that I find endless excitement and fascination with.
But my time in class with newfound sisters and brothers helped me remember that my clairs are not limited, and that I've not always accessed them through Tarot. New ways are hard and sometimes scary, but like Wizard Bowie instructed, I remembered to swim a little deeper.
Then I got diagnosed with cancer. I'm a Virgo. I categorize, I put things in neat little boxes. I analyze. I search for meaning. Is my cancer denied feelings? Unacknowledged pain? I got cancer where I STORE MY SHIT. How is not that some kind of sign?
Then I remembered. It doesn't matter why, it doesn't change who I am. It doesn't change my work. It only changes how I see things. It changes my relationship with myself, and my understanding of what someone else may experience. It deepens my care and prioritization of myself. Once again, the teaching is that I matter, and sometimes I matter the MOST.
We lost Gene Wilder, another Wizard. I remembered this teaching:
“If you're not gonna tell the truth, then why start talking?”
So I worked to deepen my understanding of my own truth, and my remembrance of of my vow to wear that truth on my skin and speak it with my voice, to eat it for dinner, and to shit it back out. My truth is that if I can't be genuine in every single relationship I have, and if you can't be genuine with me, I choose to move you outside my circle. These boundaries have never been so clear for me.
When the reality of my crumbling marriage and the state of that relationship hit me like a gut punch, another Wizard returned to the Void. Leonard Cohen wrote a song, and he said:
”Now so long, Marianne
It's time that we began to laugh
And cry and cry and laugh about it all again”
And I remembered. I remembered hearing that song as a small child, and thinking she must be special, this Marianne, for someone to write a song about her.
We moved a lot when I was small. It felt hard to go to new places, be singled out as the new kid. I hadn't yet learned the power of my name, and was uncomfortable being different. So I told the kids I was MaryAnne, and they came to my door and asked for me with that name. My mother sent them away because I'm NOT Marianne.
But I am fucking special.
Leonard made me remember what my teacher's teacher said about singing: Sing until you forget the words, then sing until you remember them again.
I remember, Wizard, and I'm ready to laugh again.
Aside from my new community and my ever present Tarot, my medicine is flower, plant, and gemstone essences. I'm still a beginner in this practice, but these volunteer allies are a piece that's been missing from my practice and my life. During a reading, I get a feel for what essences can support trial, facilitate transition, and cement a change. In crisis? Trees will root you while reminding you to keep reaching for the sky and sun. Flowers soothe your soul, and deepen your understanding through experience. As an earth sign, I recognize the work of the gemstone- to hold all those elements in bodily form, the birth of the etheric onto our earthly plane.
These beautiful souls sing healing, and I obey, bottling and blessing. Like a journey through a labyrinth, we often come back around to what looks like the same place. The song of the essences helps us realize that what appears the same is now completely different, because our perspective has changed, our understanding has deepened. WE are changed.
This medicine has saved me this year; my frequent usage, combined with a Nine Year in which so many needed their support, I feel they've answered our call. I may not always have been able to perform readings, but I can always listen to their song, and participate in my healing work. It calls me home. I've done more essence work this year than I've had tarot clients, and more of them have returned, again and again. This is good medicine. This is strong medicine. And I claim it.
This year has been harder than I could've imagined, and full of more growth and enlightenment than I ever dreamed. But it's also not surprising. I knew it would be, I whispered it in my ear long ago and far away. My journey back to me took a long time, and I'm not sorry for a second of it.
And lastly, good night, sweet Prince. If ever if ever a Wiz there was, it was you. You were a model of kindness, generosity, and compassion, a tiny dynamo of nebulous sexuality enrobed in cloak of spirituality and some kick ass heels. I weep for you still, that your light is gone from my world. You gave me a lifetime of musical friendship, your music and lyrics more perfect with each listen. I thank you for so many things, but most of all, I thank you for making it impossible for me keep from Shaking. My. Ass, and reminding me that Baby, I'm a Star!
As I drove around town today, marveling at the beauty in the change of season, I thought "It's almost over." I was originally mourning the loss of vistas lush with life and color, but there was a kind of a thunk when the other shoe dropped: there's a lot of stuff that's almost over, and the relief that flooded over me was palpable.
2016 has been HARD. We lost Bowie and Prince, musical ambassadors to the weird, wonderful, and compassionate. Cancer. Gun Violence. Rape Culture. Racism. Trump? It's a lot to process...
In the face of it all, I thought the best thing to do was to close ranks: focus on me, bear my own burdens, and those of my family. That certainly worked for a while; I needed that, to take care of me and my own. But I was missing a crucial part of my life- my community. So now, in the almost-over twilight of the year, we take stock, and reconnect.
I'm struck by the social angst and outrage, how people have become so polarized. But I'm also encouraged that we're having conversations that matter, that we've put off for decades. Some of us didn't even know there were conversations we SHOULD be having, and we suddenly find ourselves in the midst of epiphany, transforming our cosmologies forever.
Speaking of revelations, 2016 is a Nine Year, and nines are all about Transformation. That means that before we factor in anything else, we first have to look through the lens of change.
Let's look at what the 9 has to tell us:
The head of the figure is a wheel, a path that once started, must be completed. "Come full circle", "Running in circles", "Vicious circle"... sound familiar? The energy of the nine wants to be made complete before it can reach out to take in more.
What is it that you set out to accomplish? What's left to do? This can be particularly anxiety producing in a year such as this- election years make everything uncertain, and I haven't spoken to a soul yet that hasn't had some major monkey wrenches thrown their way this year. How did you handle those? What did you learn? Have you even had the time to integrate these lessons before moving on to the next perceived crisis? What will you carry forward and what will you leave behind?
There are many lessons from this time of year, regardless of your belief system or spiritual affiliation: the wheel of the year requires us to wrap things up- Winter is Coming. A good friend recently passed on an article from an Astrologer she follows (hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk) that describes the phase between 11/11 and the end of the year as the Zero Point Zone, before we enter our Genesis, or One Year. She describes the Zero Point Field as "The space between your comfort zone and infinity."
So, what are you comfortable with? As we transition from one phase into another, old patterns and behaviors may arise, giving you a final opportunity to experience them from a different perspective. Do they still serve you? Or do you need to reset?
This Zero energy calls up The Fool, the great and divine equalizer. What will you draw from the void to carry forward into a year of new starts? Are you willing to make a leap of faith, as invited? What's in your medicine bag? Who are your allies?
A lot of questions, I know... but without questions, there's no deeper understanding. And without a deeper knowledge of self, there is no growth. Most of us don't choose a life of attrition, of smallness. Sometimes it just happens- birth, school, work, kids, Netflix... death. But this is an invitation to choose differently, to manifest through surrender.
That's a party I don't plan on missing.
Well, it's not entirely where I want it to be, but I'm pretty excited about the first pass! In this post, you'll find:
Happy New Year! I wanted to take a few minutes and highlight some changes to this format:
And I will.
Holiday greetings to you all! I hope this post finds you happy, healthy, and expansive with the growth we've been invited to do this year.
I've been wrestling with posting the First Quarter Numerology, because I'm a bit frustrated with it. It's meant to be a general- a thermometer for you to gauge the temperature of the ocean against your personal waters... but I also want it to be more specific, more useful for those of you who take the time to check in with me (many thanks, always!).
So, I'm ruminating, coming up with options.
One option is to forge a new way of forecasting (DAMN, that's exciting!!!); another is to keep with the general, and post more specific updates per week. That would mean I'd have to step up my game...
The third is to do both, which is the most likely course.
What's also likely is that I'll opt for a staged approach- starting with the new forecast method, then adding the weekly, possibly mid-Jan or Feb.
If you have questions or comments, I hope you'll drop me a line: firstname.lastname@example.org
I also hope you'll keep reading, and that the new approach for the new year makes a difference for you.
Thank you so much for your support in 2015, and keep your eyes peeled for changes in 2016!
It hardly seems fair, after the year we've had, to throw a curveball in the month of December; but that's what's happening...
YOU WILL BE CALLED UPON TO USE YOUR GOOD JUDGEMENT.
The good news? You got this! The scary news? You need to act quickly. That curveball could come up suddenly and at any time during the month, and may be an actual turning point for your life: new jobs, relationships, approaches- these all take thought, followed by action.
This vibration (20/2) can leave you feeling a bit unsettled, because there are big forces at work (did I mention this could be a turning point?). The balance of the 2 must work through the Godforce of the 0 to bring about the union of spirit and matter; it's a lonely job, and is yours for the doing.
Your guiding principle should be the perspective you've gained this year: walking through some pretty tough universal influences has beefed up your experience points. So take a hot minute, weigh the pros and cons, eye the alternatives, and REMEMBER HOW ADAPTABLE YOU ARE!
We're on the home stretch, everyone!
This last month has seen us through (another) Retrograde, and some intense karmic work, resulting in an emotional transformation! After reflecting on some of the often chaotic - and sometimes painful lessons of this year, the Moon theme of October may have left you feeling a little vulnerable at first, but ultimately more emotionally whole. This vulnerability is a positive thing, as it leaves us open for necessary transitions, and new beginnings to follow in November- transitions where we step into The SUN, a place where we can SHINE!
Your newly integrated emotional "solidity" brings rewards - after all, you've worked hard! Don't forget to play and celebrate, especially with friends and loved ones- rejuvenate while you can, holiday stresses and time shortages are around the corner.
Need some help "cementing" those changes, or holding newly formed boundaries so you don't slip back into old patterns?
Consider a flower essence, either prepared or custom- they'll gently support your emotional self as you gleefully reap what you've sown!
Use the contact form for more information, or to buy an essence!
Hello, friends! Whether you looked at last Quarter's vibrations or not, chances are you felt them in a big way. With July almost finished, you're probably knee deep in processing the important relationships in your life, and deciding how to move forward with them. August brings those changes and adjustments to the forefront- you must complete the work you started! None of this has been easy; between the heat outside and fire the Universe has lit underneath us all, I'm sure you'll be ready for a breather!
That being said, 4th Quarter Numbers are available below! I'm happy to report that we're entering a kinder, gentler, more introspective time.
To make it brief, you'll be invited to reap what you've sown, integrating what you've learned in the recent past. September is Harvest time; October is for Personal Care (Winter is Coming!); November allows us to Shine, propelling us forward; and December is about Evaluation- are your decisions resonating with the new you, or are you engaging in old patterns?
A reading might help you gain more clarity in your personal situation, or a custom Star Essence might just move you gently into the space that helps you operate within your integrity. Use the Contact Form at the end of the page to obtain either!
Thanks for reading!
The following images represent the Temporary Numerology for the 3rd Quarter of this year. I started with the temporary Numerology of each month, and added a Tarot and Astrological Tie-in to aid in a bit of perspective.
The tarot savvy will recognize the correspondence to suits and numbered cards, and that we (and this means everyone!) are working through some tough Major Arcana cards right now. This trend will continue through February of next year, although there will be a shift to more gentle and introspective vibrations before year's end.
The Astrologically savvy will recognize that these tie-ins are illustrative, and not actual- it's simply a way to link the numerology, tarot, and astrology together so that a broader audience will understand the transitory nature of the month.
If you recognize a difficult pattern, or have anxiety regarding any of the vibrations, I have added a standard Star Essence that will ease your path. Custom essences are available alone (with a short consultation), or as part of a reading package.
Go to the Contact Page if you're interested in scheduling either.
Thanks for reading!